February 22, 2004 11:40 p.m.
Do you ever loose a little faith in someone you love? If only for a short time? Where your mind is just completely blown away while trying to comprehend something they said or did... but not in that good way, in the bad I can't believe someone I love most in this world is capable of this. Why was I not aware? Am I being fooled? I'm a little wary about situations such as these. Being that my first true love boyfriend in high school decided to stop taking his wellbutrin and became almost like another person overnight. Told me the most terrible things... I was a bitch, spoiled ... I wasn't capable of true love because I only cared about myself. Then he threatned someone with a gun and got kicked out of school. Was this the real him.
After my mom got killed by so nut job that she dated and who pulled the old "if I can't have you no one else will", I asked my Grandma if my mom ever had any bad qualities. She said she followed her heart in the wrong direction. I did that with high school boyfriend.
I'm not in no way comparing what happened tonight to killing or getting kicked out of school, or verbaly assulting me... but it still hurt.
You hope is was a misunderstanding, but how many times can you blame it on.. "oh he wasn't feeling well"... or "he is tired, don't mind him"...
I don't feel like explaining it all, but lets just say.. and I know everyone will understand me, my parents are my parents, they raised me well and I have every fucking right to say whatever I want about them... good or bad, and no one else has the fucking right to say shit. Period.
Oh yeah I had a panic attack last night in my car... shaking, couldn't breathe.. the whole nine.. think I would of been treated with a little TLC tonight... don't think so
- - August 14, 2004
- - June 02, 2004
Cheer - March 08, 2004
It's Not a Tumor... - February 26, 2004
I need a doctor - February 22, 2004
