June 19, 2003 6:26 p.m.
Even though this is only Journal number 73... I already have an idea for my 100th entry... I know I will be much more impressed with it than anyone... but that is always the way. :)
So... I have been having interesting dreams lately. I had a really good friend, best friend really. I met her in 7th grade and she used to get picked on a lot, mainly by the asshole people I associated with then, and we then went to the same high school. We became really really close. She lived very close to me and we did a lot of things together. I was very close with her family as I was with hers. We had a very interesting relationship.... we didn't have a lot in common, I had all honors classes and she repeated the 12th grade, I liked guys like Vin Diesel and she liked Prince William. But whenever we were together we just laughed and laughed and were so ungodly silly. She was more than just my friend, we looked out for each other and were just, well, best friends. Last August she came over to see my new sister that had just been born, she went home and I never talked to her again. I don't understand why, I still don't. It's been almost a year that we haven't seen or talken to each other, and before we hardly went two days. I thought about her on her birthday and wondered what she was doing, I wondered if she had started college yet, or if she has moved out of her mom's house. I don't know what I did, if it was my fault. But I can't go a week without having one dream about her and I becomming friends again and we buried whatever hatchet there is. At first, my frame of mind was, fine forget her if she doesn't want to be my friend after SEVEN YEARS, but now it just hurts. I miss that "best friend" feeling. Granted I do have a lifelong friend in NY, but we don't ever see each other. What did I do? She was the type of person to have this thought out, to know when she was driving away that she wouldn't talk to me anymore. All that time invested in this awesome friendship was for nothing. I could tell her anything and now I have no one that I'm really close to, in the "knowing someone forever" sense. Just a little rant. Maybe know that I've admitted just how much a miss her I will stop having dreams that nothing has changed and wake up and remember it really has.
- - August 14, 2004
- - June 02, 2004
Cheer - March 08, 2004
It's Not a Tumor... - February 26, 2004
I need a doctor - February 22, 2004
